Get to know Steps Along the Way
and Jonathan
About Steps Along The Way
What is “Steps Along the Way”? Yes, it’s the name of my business transformational life coaching and consulting. But why? Because all of my personal and professional experiences have led me to realize that it is paying attention to steps along the way that ultimately matter the most!
Want to know something about every top-level expert in every field? They were beginners when they started!
What about people who seem to accomplish so much in so little time? Almost all of their steps support the same goal.
What about broadly informed and experienced people? Their steps have covered lots of different territory.
And what about how people take their steps? Are these out of habit? Are they based on expectations? Are they only about reaching a destination?
What if this could be different? What if, instead, every step along the way was deliberate and intentional? What if every step along the way could be appreciated in and of itself?
If this sounds appealing, I invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation to explore whether we might want to work together.
Ph.D. – Cultural & Psychological Anthropology (UC San Diego)
M.A. – Cultural & Psychological Anthropology (UC San Diego)
B.A. – Psychology & Political Philosophy (University of Redlands)
Professional Fellow, Institute of Coaching (IOC), McLean Hospital, Harvard Medical School affiliate
PCC (Professional Certified Coach) – International Coaching Federation (ICF)
Registered Mentor Coach – International Coaching Federation (ICF)
CPC (Certified Professional Coach) – International Coach Academy, Australia
Body-Oriented Coaching, Program Trainer – The Somatic School (UK)
Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner – Genos International (Australia)
Positive Psychology Coaching – Mentor Coach
Clear Beliefs Coaching (L1) – Clear Beliefs Institute
Award-winning cultural anthropology professor and author, including 20+ years of researching, teaching, and publishing on issues related to performance, embodiment, identity, and diversity.
20+ years of learning, studying, photographing, and teaching partnered dance forms, including salsa, ballroom, and Brazilian zouk.
Background / Credentials
About Jonathan
Early on…
I grew up in a dysfunctional home, surrounded by emotional and physical abuse, and never fully feeling like I belonged anywhere. I grew up around conflicting views around religion and physical and mental health struggles, including suicide.
Attending a private religious day school (while a privilege compared to the lives of many) did not provide comfort for the sensitive, insecure little boy, with a broken heart.
Educational/ academic accomplishments were highly stressed in my culture, and especially in private school, everyone had to fit the mold. There was no personal assessment plan: there was “the way,” and if you didn’t fit it, you didn’t stay.
And I didn’t fit
As a defiant boy with anger issues, I was a lousy student all through high school. In grade school, teachers misguidedly felt like I needed more structure and control, and recommended boarding school.
In high school, no one believed that I would graduate in 4 years. On top of accumulated childhood trauma, I had an undiagnosed seasonal affective disorder that robbed me of all hope, motivation, and energy (both socially and scholastically). Even when I mentally knew something was important, the biochemical imbalance left me without the physical or psychological resources to act.
Next…
Going to college in Southern California was my first taste of autonomy, connection with Self and relief from my seasonal affective disorder. I could finally decide for myself the type of life I wanted to lead, I was motivated to escape both my seasonal depression and dysfunctional family climate and make my own choices.
Little did I know, however, how deeply I had internalized my family’s patterns and expectations growing up, regarding the need to accomplish, the reverence for intellectual excellence, and near impossible standards of needing to be exceptional. Without even noticing it, proving that I wasn’t the lousy student I’d been pre-college would drive my choices through most of my academic career.
Finishing undergrad, I had a hell of a resume, yet had never entirely lived the “college experience.” I was so busy “accomplishing,” and building up my extracurricular resume, that I missed out on most of the “trying things out” that I saw so many others enjoying. I, who had been the slacker extraordinaire in high school, was the one doing homework in the dorm lobby on Friday and Saturday nights while others were out partying.
After college, I decided to go to grad school to study cultural anthropology. I knew, at least intellectually, that living with meaning was what was most important to me, and for my master’s thesis I chose to explore the construction of existential meaning within cultural contexts.
Needless to say, in grad school and beyond I continued to jump through all the hoops, to live up to all external measures of success, in the form of credentials, good evaluations, academic accolades, and professional leadership.
Continuing along…
I kept going through the motions for decades, finishing my MA, finishing my PhD, publishing my first academic book, being elected to professional boards, starting to teach university classes, being named outstanding lecturer at my university, being elected President of a professional association, getting hired into a tenure track position, writing my second book, winning more teaching commendations, being elected President of a second professional association, publishing my third book, getting tenure, publishing my fourth book, etc.
By all outside measures, I was clearly an accomplished university professor, a published author, respected by colleagues. I was on an upward trajectory to progress in my career.
Yet none of that meant much of anything for me anymore. The further along in my career I got, the emptier, more trapped, and constrained I felt. And none of my accomplishments could fill this emptiness.
Where was that level of deep satisfaction I’ve been looking for my whole life? Where was the full-color version? Was there even one? Could I live a more fulfilling life, based on deep meaning and replete with richly textured experiences and relationships?
12 years after finishing my PhD I spent a semester of research leave in Brazil, exploring and experiencing the birthplace of the dance form and community of Brazilian zouk.
While living with friends in Brazil, I realized that I loved the relationships I had with people simply as me, Jonathan, and not my roles to or for them. This was such a profound realization, that I felt compelled to start changing my life.
I realized that, at the end, looking back, I would not wish I had developed or taught yet one more course, written one more article, or been part of one more committee. I would want to be proud of how I had shown up in my life, the impact I’d had on other people, the relationships I’d built, the memories I’d left behind, and the contributions I had made.
I realized none of my measurable, externally-facing accomplishments mattered. That the most meaningful relationships in my life were with people who didn’t care how good I was at “jumping through hoops.”
Spending a long time in deep, honest self-reflection, I discovered that I was filled with a sense of meaning and purpose when I responded to challenges and situations based on who I really was deep down, and how I wanted to show up in the world, and not when letting external measures of right or wrongdoing count; and when I focused my attention on the relationships with the people who never considered those things important.
Once my direction became clear and I committed to it, the universe conspired to support me in miraculous ways. So many things fell into place, one after another: finding an online coaching program that fit both my crazy schedule and my international interests, an opportunity to sell my house and start minimizing my “stuff,” chances to start teaching and coaching related to my interests in deep meaning and the inherent dignity and value of all.
Now…
I now live how I want to be, aware of considerations, but not allowing them to drive my choices. I am able to identify what really matters, knowing that everything that happens is just part of a story. I jump through far fewer hoops, and when I do, I don’t attach a sense of identity or self-worth to them.
I’ve always loved teaching, and now have the freedom to customize the ‘what’ and ‘how’ to have the most impact. I share lessons from years of research, teaching, and leadership related to cultural awareness and appreciation to broader audiences, collaborating with people who truly care about such issues.
With one foot still solidly grounded in my academic role, now I get to interact, collaborate with, and support a broader range of people in showing up as their best selves and making their best contributions to the world. I tailor my coaching, consulting, and educational offerings to meet people where they are, support a world that recognizes the complete and equal dignity of all people, and facilitate authentic living, connection, and communication.